I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
