Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want to make out with him forever
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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