Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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