I have demons in me.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Farmville is her only friend.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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