btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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