your room smells of hookers.
And success
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize