You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
