i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
