I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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