come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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