my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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