Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize