Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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