I'll bet she douches with gravy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We left an ass print on the piano.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
