How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
