singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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