yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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