i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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