I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
