Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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