Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
