fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
