I must be too annoying 4 u.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
