i just wanna soil my oats bro
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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