I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize