my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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