this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this beer tastes like vomit already
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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