I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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