the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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