I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
