Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
