Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
