Porn is love you can see.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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