So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
