i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
