Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
