ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
