oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A+ Viking dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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