are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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