She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do herpes really smell.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
