I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
