those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
