Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
