Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
