We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize