my sisters under your porch take her home
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
