C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
