Christians are straight up FREAKS
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize