We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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