I just saw a hot homeless man
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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