its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
