end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize