yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
