So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
