So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
