ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
