is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
