that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize