I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
