things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
