I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just want nice things and good sex
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
