Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
