ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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