dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
