Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize