just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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