we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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