I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
