1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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