So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
