Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
