i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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