hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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