I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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