you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
