your thong is hanging out like whoa
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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