ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
