We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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