I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize