**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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