She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
my liver is dry heaving
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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