you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just found puke in my bra..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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