Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
