I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize