My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Still dying that you shit outside
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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