omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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